We got into Wired Magazine! In 2009.

For several years my sweetheart worked in a reproductive health clinic helping under-served populations access contraceptives. One day we noticed a call for submissions to Wired Magazine‘s Artifacts From The Future section. Wired asked readers to submit their vision for the future of birth control. We knew just what to do.

I made some mockups; together we wrote the pitch.

Relax.

Relax.

Inspired by a ubiquitous cliche, we imagined a future when the after-sex cigarette would deliver a perfect dose of contraception. We called our product Afterglo, and the theme of our first campaign was, “Relax”. Naturally, the product’s most important features would be reliability and pleasure, so we highlighted those in the campaign.

Wired loved it. Their in-house designers adapted our submission for their feature. They reframed the campaign with the tagline, “Breathe Easy.” (Easy indeed: This product practically designs and advertises itself.)

When we conceived (ha!) Afterglo, major cities across America were cracking down on smokers; marijuana was still illegal in every state of the union; and electronic cigarettes were just a slide in some Philip Morris Powerpoint deck. It was pure fantasy to think that anyone would design contraceptive delivery around such a socially unacceptable activity.

That was then. Nowadays, “smoking” is back in style, thanks to the popularity of cigarette-shaped electronic vaporizers. The public health implications of this trend are still uncertain — smoke, second-hand or otherwise, isn’t the same as vapor — and our laws, as usual, can’t keep up.

But the market doesn’t care. Right now, e-cigarette liquid manufacturers are experimenting with exotic, candy-inspired flavors of nicotine (blueberry! piña colada!) that many decry as a cynical attempt to hook kids. It’s only a matter of time before all manner of alternative chemicals make their way into e-cigarettes: A multi-vitamin, some omega-3s, a few hormones, a statin (because everyone should take statins). Whether or not the FDA approves these vapors is irrelevant to anyone with a credit card and an internet connection.

Prediction: Wired’s timeline for post-coital contraceptive smokes — 2029, according to the kiosk in their illustration — is conservative!

I’m no patent lawyer, but so far it appears nobody has patented this specific application.